Self-love as a trans-Latina

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"Growing up in a neighborhood east of Los Angeles, CA, that was notorious for its prostitution, gangs, crimes, and drugs, I witnessed violence that surrounded the city because of the poverty rate. A city where few allocations of funds were made to jobs, education, and social services. A city that both my mother and aunty were making $6.00 per hour at an outlet Disney sewing factory.

Both my aunty and her female friend raised me, I knew that they were sexually/romantically attracted to each other. However, as a little kid I was attracted to boys. I remembered being super girly. I used to wear dresses, heals, and play make-up. All my girl mannerism were punished by getting physically, emotionally, and mentally abused by my mother. Even though, she is a lesbian. She had and still has internal internalized transphobia. I remembered that I yearned for her love, her compassion, and her will of loving me the way, I am. I grew feeling empty and lonely because she was not proud. All I wanted  is to be nutured and for her to embraced my preferred gender. I know she will never understand why her, "son," wanted to be  a girl. I got  kicked  out-of- the house at  age 18. Even  though, it was hard  to be  independent, I did it for myself love, self agency, and myself worth. Finally, I was freed and liberated because I didn't wanted to be abused anymore. I had agency to have self-determination. All  the pain, I endured by been raised by an abusive mother lead for my PTSD diagnoses.

Moving  forward, June of 2017, I publicly came out as a transgender latina.  Yes, I am a chapina (known as Guatemalans), I became liberated and for one's, I am living my authentic-self. In february 25th, I celebrated my 8months on estrogen; and I'm loving the way my body in both internally/externally is changing. My path as a trans-Latina is not linear and not fixed. I'm thriving. I'm the womxn, I always felt to be. I love make-up and I love, all genders. I'm here to empower others,and I'm here to be a leader. I'm a strong and resilient womxn. My future goals is to be admitted law school, and concentrate in health law. I'm hopeful for what the future awaits for me."

 

Best, 

Ikal

 
Across Gender