Hi there! My name is Anthony, I'm 24 years old, FTM living in San Diego, CA. I first remember being as young as 5 years old the first time I started feeling the difference in my body vs my brothers. I used to walk around the house as a kid often being shirtless, and one day I can still remember sitting on the couch and a gust of wind blew across my chest and I just got this chill that felt "wrong" to me. I felt immediately I should put a shirt on, and after that day I never went without a shirt again.
As I hit puberty I often times had the desire to present more masculine, but having two older sisters, the pressure to be feminine and girly was suffocating. They'd coach me on everything from how to write, to how to talk to boys....even though the only thing that ever appealed to me about boys was the fact that I wanted to look like them.
Once I hit the age of about 16/17 I was in a relationship with a girl, whom I had told I was trans in the very early days of our relationship, and Hoped that with me being with this girl, my father would eventually accept that I had found someone and was happy and accept me for who I was. I stayed in this relationship for many years, and many times I felt unsupported, judged, and even alone during my transition.
When I turned 18 my dad completely cut off all contact with me even though we lived in the same household, and that went on for over a year. We ended up getting into a physical altercation one night that led me to feel unsafe in My home and left me with no other choice but to move down to San Diego. I was 1.5 hours from my then gf, and the relationship continued to get more and more toxic and controlling.
Eventually that fell apart and I was left feeling that I'd never find anyone who'd truly accept me, being that even the person I was just with I felt didn't. So there I was abandoned by my father, away from all of my friends, in a new city knowing no one. And that's when I made the choice to stop pushing it all away And be honest with myself finally, so I made an appt with a dr, and a therapist, I told my sisters that I was transitioning and then I waited for my appt.
On may 30th of 2014 I received my first shot of testosterone. I knew on that very day that I'd made exactly the right decision because everything for the first time in my life, felt right. I became more outgoing and comfortable in my skin and who I was becoming on the outside. And in the process met and amazing woman who has been nothing but a Supportive, affirming, loving partner and WIFE to me!! It really does get better, but the journey never truly ends.